What Is Self-Sabotage and How to Stop It
Self-sabotage, where does it come from? What is self sabotage at all? Does everyone struggle with that sort of thing in their lives?
You might have never taken it seriously or just never thought thoroughly about it. But what if you should? A low self-esteem tends to be the most common reason for self-sabotage alongside with the circumstances that you've faced in your life and the way you were raised.
No matter what are the reasons of self-sabotage, there is no need to worry because it can be beaten, and it should be. Self sabotaging behavior happen every single day with lots of people, with one small but significant difference. Some people admit they are suffering from it and do their best to beat it, while the others usually just let things slide. If you do want to figure out how to stop self sabotage, read on because we know the ways you can counteract self-sabotaging behavior. The first thing that is crucial at this stage is to identify what's causing the self-sabotage and what are the reasons for such behavior.
Self-sabotage is a damaging thing for sure. The disastrous power of self-sabotage tells us that we can't do something, settles disbelief, and puts us directly against what we want to do or need. It might take a form of your inner critical voice, killing everything that supposed to be good and stops you from achieving your dreams and goals. Self-criticism, distrust, and addictions are the things you'll have to face then. Mind to stop these things in the bud. Otherwise, it will do a lot of harm to both your personal and professional life.
Have you ever imagined how many times has your personality acted in conflict with another part of your character? We tend to fall back on self-sabotage in any stressful situation when we don't feel like we are capable enough.
What Causes Self-Sabotaging Behavior Then Will You Ask?
The reasons and sources might be the following:
- Your previous failure. It could be something you didn't manage to do, something that brings you bad memories and somehow is constantly spoiling your life now. Something went wrong, and you are afraid of trying again.
- Your bad habits, no difference is it excessive smoking, overeating, or uncontrolled anger. Why try if it's impossible you tell yourself every time you'd like to give up your "bad friends."
- Your critical inner voice. Do you still believe that listening to that sneaky coward isn't nonsense? Don't ever let your inner self-sabotaging dialogue manipulate you! Yes, this buddy might be your old friend, someone from the darkest past, but really? Shut him up! This buddy isn't your friend anymore, why should you listen to him/her? Each time you'll doubt your actions and success imagine how you are waving him and saying good-bye!
- Internalized negative thoughts from others toward you. Someone used to see the negative side of everything no matter what you were doing and worried about how they looked to others or what could go wrong. Forget it! It shouldn't bother you; everyone has the right to make mistakes. Don't let anyone count yours and bother you like the only thing they are waiting is to tell you where and what went wrong. You didn't ask them about that, or did you?
Signs of Self Sabotaging Behavior
There are some signs and symptoms that you are self-sabotaging:
- Your low self-esteem.
- Words like "I can't" and "should" are the most often used by you;
- You tell yourself and believe that "I'm not good enough."
- You are concerned that you just can't succeed no matter how desperately you will try.
- Worrying a lot.
- You are continuously suffering from a conflict between your desires and hopes against the failure to change anything.
- Your feeling of being unworthy.
- You are angry with your situation, yourself, and others.
Some Tips How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behavior
- Admit and realize that you have a problem. When starting your rescue operation which is called overcoming self-sabotage, that's definitely the first thing that needs to be done. It's like a treatment that can be prescribed only after the diagnoses has been made. Once you've understood you are in trouble, work on improving the situation and set a positive mindset to keep telling yourself that there is nothing impossible. Mind that your goal shouldn't lie in pleasing others, mind your own happiness and goals.
- Find your weak points, patterns of your behavior that tend to work against you. If it seems troublesome, keep a journal and analyze when exactly you are usually self-sabotaging yourself.
- Face self-doubt or fear by taking determined action. Your fear is your personal thief; the earlier you'll take a step toward it, the better it will be. No one says it will be easy, but facing your fear you are growing, your confidence is rising amazingly. The satisfaction that comes then once you've overcome your fear just couldn't be compared to anything. Remember, our eyes might be misleading. It might seem so scary at the first glance, but what if it's time to close your eyes for a moment?
- Take care of yourself every single day doing something that makes you feel good. We tend to undervalue somehow this tip. But doing only one little thing for yourself that makes you satisfied and happy, you invest in yourself, both body and soul. Miraculously, you build your self-esteem, which is definitely not a one-day deal.
- Challenge self-sabotaging talk. Keep asking yourself why you are still afraid of doing something of feel doubts about anything. Is self-sabotaging thinking irrational or based on clear facts? What's keeping you afraid? Are these ones your past unsuccessful experiences? Or it's just a fear to try? Mind that you should be working on self-confidence even if it's still scary. Take baby steps. You've already done a lot of work; you've admitted that fact that you have a problem and recognized the signs of self-sabotaging behavior. It's okay to be afraid, everyone is, believe me. You've made the major step in overcoming the self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors, remind yourself that!