Breaking Up with a Friend: Best Tips
Do you want some bad friendship advice? There are multiple ways to break up with your friends. Here are some of them:
The amateur version of gossip
When your friend is sad, tell her that you want to help her overcome her sadness. Persuade her that you are the most concerned, sincere, and sympathetic friend. Tell that you will never give up any of her secrets to anyone. When your friend confesses her secret to you, promise that again. Going out with your friends next time, drink too much alcohol and blur this secret out.
The professional version of gossip
Convince your friend to give out her biggest secret to you, assuring her that you will never tell it to any living soul. Afterwards, talk with your mutual friends and share small pieces of this information with them to learn whether they know anything about that. If they are already aware, confront your friend saying that the “secret”, she trusted you with, is not that much of a secret. Tell how she made you feel less special by giving you some general knowledge instead of something private. In the end, ask if she has any real secrets.
Have sex with them
If your friend is of your preference sexually, assure both of you that you can have sex once and then keep on being friends as if nothing happened. Forget that no one wants to have sex just once: it is either you want that a lot, or do not want at all. “Just checking what it would be like,” you will become disappointed and make your friendship much weaker.
Disappear in times of major crisis or major celebration
Convince yourself that it is fine to miss funerals, weddings, and other events where friends are usually needed. After all, there will be many other people and your friend will not even realize that you are absent. Therefore, even afterwards you do not have to visit your friend, ask about any details of the event, write any letters or remember that this event took place. You life is full of other big things, and some of them are perhaps even more significant. If your friend asks you, find a miserable excuse. For example, say that your son had a football game or that you had an important appointment with a psychic.
Do not make any effort to show your attitude
Never call your friend yourself. If your friend cannot go out, do not offer to pay a short visit and bring a pizza or a book that might be pleasant for them. Do not send any notes at holidays or birthdays. Do not let your friends think that they are significant in your life.
Those are the best ways of losing touch with friends. But answer yourself, do you want to experience the best friend break up? If not, do everything in the exactly opposite way.